Parenting is hard, and the Bible makes no promises about how our kids will grow in faith. We live in a culture where success has more to do with career, money and social status than with loving and serving Jesus and our neighbors. As parents, we have the opportunity to help our kids see success differently and to flourish in faith. We invite you to learn more about Lifeway's newest research and how you can help your kids flourish in their relationship with Jesus. More>>
By Curt Hinkle, Good News Consulting
Rites of passage are an important part of our culture, be it church or school. The dictionary on my computer says that a rite of passage is defined as ceremonies related to “important stages in someone's life, especially birth, puberty, marriage, and death.” Rites of passage in the church world might include Baptism, First Communion, Confirmation and marriage. In the world of education, rites of passage usually include any number of graduations: after preschool, middle school and high school, for example.
I suspect that many people, when they think of rites of passage, have a perspective of “rights” of passage, implying something earned, completed or entitled. Graduation is a “right” of passage in which we think in terms of something completed and therefore earned. When someone graduates from high school, we always think in terms of completion, of being done.
Unfortunately, we have translated the thought of graduation and completion into church life. In 2004, I became the Director of Youth Ministries at a church in Elk River, meaning I was responsible for all aspects of middle school and high school youth ministry, including Confirmation. As I spent time at the high school that first year, I met a number of upperclassmen who said something to the effect of, “Oh, I graduated from that church” meaning, of course, that's where they were confirmed. Graduated. Completed. Done.
Faith as a journey, not a destinationJesus, however, invited people on a journey with Him. In 1st Century Israel, when a rabbi invited someone to follow him, it was understood that the follower was embarking on a long journey to learn from and become like the rabbi. Thus, when Jesus said, “Follow me,” the invitees knew they were embarking on a life-long transformative journey. In the eastern Hebrew tradition, it was always about the journey. In western culture, we tend to be more interested in the destination.
Destination thinking can be a detriment for ministries that focus on our young people. First, destination thinking can lead to compartmentalized or siloed ministries. If we aren’t thinking “journey,” then we don't consciously think about how to prepare the student for the next part of the journey. Second, destination thinking has an endpoint. In the world of youth ministry, that endpoint is high school graduation. In contrast, when Jesus bids us to follow Him, we embark on a life-long journey.
Culturally, our primary and secondary educational systems can also fall into the destination thinking approach. Monies today are primarily focused on two things: standardized testing scores and graduation rates. Both are destinations. Neither prepare the student for a life-long journey of learning.
What we have in our culture is a double whammy affecting our young people. If our education systems and churches effectively view their jobs as complete after high school, we have done a great disservice to our kids. Think of it this way: You know how a robin will kick its young out of the nest when it’s time for them to learn to fly? I think we are kicking our young people out of the nest and they have yet to develop wings! They are not ready for the journey.
About ethosI love that Calvary’s high school ministry is called NEXT, which is journey language. The team has agreed that destination thinking is defective, and they work hard to prepare kids for the next part of their journey. But what about after high school graduation? How do we help them develop wings?
You may have heard of the ethos Project. ethos is a collaborative effort of Calvary’s Children, Youth & Family Ministries staff and the Virtues Campus. ethos is designed to provide high school students with the capacity to navigate the difficult years that often follow graduation, through a cohort community and a mentoring relationship provided by a trained adult leader.
Studies have shown that people who live meaningful lives have alignment of these three things:
Who they are
What they believe
What they do in this world
Thus, ethos group leaders focus on helping students develop an understanding of their interrelated:
Identity - Who God created them to be
Faith - What they believe about who God is
Purpose - The role Jesus wants them to play in His world
Leaders journey with their group of students in high school and into their first year beyond graduation. We want to help them view life and Christ-following as lifelong journeys. We want to help our young people develop wings.
Is God asking you to walk alongside young people as they pursue Christ in their journeys? Please join us at ethos. Our next meeting is Sunday, Jan. 14, from 6 to 8 p.m. in the Student Underground. Questions? Please contact Pastor Jason Roton by e-mail or at 763.231.2962.
By Megan Percy, Youth Director (Grades 4-8)
At Christmas, we remember the gift God gave us in Jesus, a tiny, screaming, little one who was a King who would reign forever. As you give gifts this year, consider giving a gift that passes on the message of Jesus’ love for his people. Here are a number of ideas for kids, teens and adults that will help people discover their place in God’s story—a story that began 2,000 years ago in a stable in Bethlehem.
Ideas for kids:
The Jesus Storybook Bible by Sally Lloyd-Jones - This a beautiful children’s Bible that tells many stories from the Old and New Testament, showing how each Scripture passage points to Jesus. It is a fresh perspective on familiar stories written in a way that kids and adults alike will want to read over and over.
You Are Special by Max Lucado - This is a beautiful picture book and story reminding us that God has made us uniquely and that we are loved by him, with our flaws and all. There is board book for little ones and a longer picture book for older kids. Even as an adult, I enjoy reading this book as a reminder of who I am in Christ.
Know God: A 28-day devotional experience for kids - This devotional is simply written and packed with profound truths that help kids explore who God through four habits—listening to God, praying, reading the Bible, talking with others about who God is and living a life that honors Him.The kid version is great for 2nd grade and up (with a little help reading). There is also a teen version (Know God: A 28-day devotional experience for students), which is a great choice for 6th grade and up.
Other ideas for kids:
Song of the Stars: A Christmas Story and Thoughts to Make Your Heart Sing by Sally Lloyd-Jones
Ideas for teens and adults:
Chasing the Light: 90 devotions and photos to grow your faith by Dave Adamson - Our world is more image-driven than ever before and this book illuminates the truth of Scripture by adding images. Brief thoughts and Bible passages accompany each day’s photo. This would be perfect for anyone 12 and up and could also be a great way to do devotions together as a family.
ESV Single Column Journal Bible or NLT Reflection Bible - A journaling Bible is designed with wide margins that are lined. There is space for notes, pictures and dates. I use a journaling Bible to take notes during Bible study and collect thoughts as I am reading. Both of these editions are good options, depending on which translation you would like. The ESV translation is written at a 10th grade reading level, and the NLT is written at a 6th grade reading level.
Other ideas for adults:
Present Over Perfect by Shauna Niequist
Moments with the Savior by Ken Gire
Looking for something other than a book? Consider shopping at the Feed My Starving Children Marketplace! They have great gifts for all ages...
Feed My Starving Children Marketplace - For a fair wage, FMSC purchases handmade goods from the artisans in the communities that receive FMSC meals. The profits from the MarketPlace go back into their feeding programs and help build communities (providing enough for over 5 million meals last year!). There is something for everyone—from toys and kitchen items to coffee, apparel, handmade jewelry, hats, totes, scarves and more!
By Pastor Jason Roton, Children, Youth & Family Ministries
As I walked into Starbucks on a chilly, sunny, fall morning in St. Louis, I was welcomed by name. It was the first Starbucks location where I had worked, but hadn’t been back for a little while. Their warm, enthusiastic greeting made me feel welcome and wanted. Eight years later, I still vividly remember this day.
You might recall the theme song from the old TV show “Cheers”: “Sometimes you wanna go where everybody knows your name and they're always glad you came… You wanna be where everybody knows your name.” Maybe you have a favorite coffee shop, restaurant or other space where you experience this. The church should be a leader, not a follower, in our culture of creating an atmosphere where people feel known, welcome and cared for.
Kids feel like they belong, are loved and not alone when someone knows their name and is present to welcome them into a space. Parents know that their children will be cared for, safe and included when teachers and welcoming adults know who they are. When kids and parents experience these things they will be more likely to engage in the activities, make those activities a priority and bring others along with them. This also makes it easier for kids to trust Jesus no matter what because they can trust an adult who knows them and also trusts Jesus.
How would your child feel if every week he/she was greeted by name? How would you feel? Imagine what it would be like if every Sunday morning, Wednesday evening and Thursday evening all of our kids and their families were greeted by name by a smiling face who was passionate about creating a place where kids and families know they are loved, they belong and will never be alone.
This is exactly the atmosphere we are trying to create at our check-in stations each week. I know we are far from our goal, but in order to achieve our goal we need your help. We need adults who love kids, love to smile, and who want kids to know church is a place they can belong and learn to trust Jesus no matter what. The time commitment is only 30-45 minutes a week, but the impact you might make on a kid’s faith is eternal. Would you please consider partnering with us in this extremely important area of ministry? If you are interested in more information please feel free to e-mail Jason Roton or sign up online.
Beginning Thursday, Sept. 28, and Sunday, Oct. 1, we will introduce Calvary’s first Family Worship Weekend, the chance for families to worship together during any of our five regular worship services. Grace Place classes will not meet and this will become our routine every first weekend of the month.
“As evidenced in our CYF core values, families play the most important part in how kids come to know, love and follow Jesus,” says Pastor Jason Roton. "We also believe that kids will never feel like the church is a place where they belong if we never intentionally welcome them into the worship life of our church family. Thus, we want welcome more kids into the experience of singing our praises to God, learning from Scripture and engaging with the Holy Spirit as a faith community.
ORANGE offers more insight into "why kids ministry is cancelled today" and the inspiration behind Calvary's Family Worship Weekends. Read ORANGE blog>>
We look forward to seeing your family in worship!
In February, when we decided to use the core commitments of the book Growing Young as the content for our CYF eNews blog, the “Hi, Neighbor!” Challenge was in its infancy and did not even have a name yet. God, in His infinite wisdom, was orchestrating events that we did not know. The sixth and final core commitment is “Be the Best Neighbor.”
We are now over halfway through the “Hi, Neighbor!” Challenge and it has been encouraging to me to hear the stories of all the different ways we have chosen to show our love for our neighbors. One of the coolest things about the “Hi, Neighbor!” Challenge is how our kids have led the way for the adults. My boys have definitely set the pace for our family. Immediately after Megan preached on what it means to love your neighbor and introduced the “Hi, Neighbor!” Challenge, our boys came home asking what we were going to do to show love for our neighbors. Cori and my response was less enthusiastic than they wanted, so day after day they kept asking. Josiah specifically wanted to do something for the new neighbors who had just moved in across the street. We made some Rice Krispie treats and took them over to them. My boys got to play Legos with their boys, and it was great getting to know them and to hear about their journey. I have no idea what will develop in our relationship. However, allowing my boys to lead the way in loving our neighbors and helping them see how easy it is to love the people around them was worth it.
My prayer for the “Hi, Neighbor!” Challenge is that it is a catalyst that launches the people of Calvary into a lifestyle of loving our neighbors no matter who they are. I would love to one day hear someone say about Calvary what Alexis in Growing Young said about her church: “I love that I met these people at a festival. I didn’t need to be looking for Jesus or a church to find them. They were out there doing their thing as opposed to a lot of churches that try to get you to come to their events in the church building.”
Being the best neighbors means that we have to continually ask ourselves and our church, “Who are our neighbors?” We live in a transitional culture where people are always moving and communities are constantly changing. Are we as a church trying to love our current neighbors or the neighbors we had 30 years ago? Change is hard and often it comes with a sense of loss, but if we want to continue to engage people between 15-30 years of age, we have to be able to ask the tough questions and make the hard decisions to ensure we are loving our current neighbors.
Being the best neighbor also means we have to embrace diversity. Diversity takes many shapes and sizes in our culture today and can lead us into some of the hottest topics in our culture right now. I would like to offer a few questions simply to get us thinking more than offering directives that may be misinterpreted. My desire is that we would wrestle with each of these questions individually and in light of Calvary.
How do we respect each individual's journey and love them no matter what while not compromising our understanding of Scripture?
How do we make sure that everyone feels safe to ask questions and conversations can continue?
How will we continue to fight for racial reconciliation and embrace people who are different than us?
In what ways will we walk alongside young people who are trying to figure out their purpose in life?
What will it look like for us to embrace socioeconomic diversity?
I hope and pray that as you read over those five questions they spark an ongoing conversation for you and your family. Growing young is not something we will do overnight. How we as individuals and as a church engage in the hard conversations and ask the tough questions will determine how effectively we engage 15-30 year olds in our community. I look forward to continuing to walk with you on this journey of growing young.
By Sharry Hosfield, Children's Ministries Director
Prioritizing families means that young families and students must be considered in every program, every service, every decision made in the church. The future of any organization depends on the current caretakers handing over responsibilities to the next wave of caretakers. Jesus handed over responsibility for the telling of His story to the disciples. He charged them to go to all people, baptizing them and sharing the Good News. We still do our best to follow his Great Commission.
At Calvary we recognize that parents are the biggest shapers of faith in their children. We know that dropping kids off to have church staff “teach them faith” is not an effective strategy. Prioritizing young people means supporting their parents. But taking a supporting role does not let the rest of the congregation off the hook—far from it! It means that we are most effective when we all support parents. We need every member to provide empathy, warmth and the Good news of Jesus to our kids and families.
How do we hand over our faith? The fifth strategy the Fuller Institute found in churches growing young is that they prioritize kids, youth and families. They are intentional about including kids and families in everything the church does. They work hard to hand over the church to the next group of caretakers. They prioritize opportunities for all ages to find meaningful ways to work together to help the church accomplish its mission. Here are a few of the ways we prioritize kids, youth, and families at Calvary...
Worship together.New this year, we will include Family Worship Weekends the first weekend of every month (beginning Sept. 28 and Oct. 1). Grace Place will not meet on these days. Instead, younger students will participate with adults and older students in worship and Holy Communion. We’ll all learn worship songs and hymns together. It’s hard to parent the loudest toddler in the sanctuary. It is work to amuse kids. But it is critically important. Please do not miss this opportunity to share such a rich experience with your Calvary family. Make the effort to worship together, even if you don’t make it all the way through the service. And members of the congregation promise to be welcoming and helpful, caring and loving. God’s people coming together to share the Gospel, to learn and sing and praise together is a powerful, wonderful experience.
Connect kids to five caring adults. One way we do this is through Lenten mentoring, a short-term involvement where people of different generations share faith ideas. We hope mentoring relationships deepen as pairs work together over several years. Both people are challenged to grow and learn. If you have a student, encourage them to make this a priority. Don’t miss this opportunity to have someone with a different perspective about faith speak into your child’s life.
Serve together. Grace Place has a Family Serve day. Calvary Works and Feed My Starving Children are events that involve all ages in meaningful work together. At Grace Place, we have youth helpers and student leaders who watch and learn from adult leaders. This mentoring is also important as our younger learners to see the faith being handed down right in front of them. VBS is another great example. Kids, parents, young adults and older adults all come together to share their faith in different ways. It is an amazing confluence of energy and joy. Calvary students grow up waiting to be helpers and leaders because of the love and energy expended on their behalf when they were young. Young students are so blessed by every leader, helper and volunteer. Imagine if the whole church worked like this. What could we accomplish? Who could we reach?
In order for the congregation to prioritize kids and parents, kids and parents must prioritize faith! See you in church!
Warm is the new cool. On the shortlist for the Oxford Dictionary word of the year in 2016 was the Nordic concept of hygge (pronounced “hoo-gah”), and it continues to trend on social media outlets of all kinds. A hygge can be a cozy space or as Time magazine states, simply refer to “an approach to living that embraces positivity and enjoyment of everyday experiences.” Think crackling fireplaces, wooly socks, candles in cafes and the general feeling of coziness when you are in a place you love with people you love being with.
What does a hygge have to do with ministry at Calvary? I’m glad you asked. The fourth essential strategy that Fuller Youth Institute identified in their Growing Young research is that churches who reach young people “fuel a warm community.” When young adults, ages 19-29 were asked about their church communities, words like “welcoming, accepting, belonging, authentic, hospitable, and caring” were at the top of the list. Fuller researchers named this the “warmth cluster” and found that churches that grow young don’t just create programs that foster relationships, but they create space where people can be together and nurture relationships in a warm and inviting environment. Church cultures that are growing young are actually moving away from programs that create unnecessary busyness in an effort to elevate relational time.
What does this look like practically? How would we know if Calvary is a place that “fuels warmth”? It goes beyond making sure that the fire is lit in the Fireside Cafe. A good indicator of our “relational temperature” is the ways that kids and adults talk about what they experience, not just when they are in the building at Calvary, but around anyone who is a part of our faith community. The young adults who responded to the Growing Young survey said things like:
“This is home”
“I can just be myself.”
“The adults here actually listen to us.”
“This feels like family.”
Fueling a warm community is not just a trending, catchy phrase like “hygge.” When we fuel warmth, we are actually living out good ecclesiology (the study of the church) as seen in Scripture. Romans 12:5 says that when we state our identity as the church, we are saying that we actually become part of one another. We belong to one another as Christ’s body. From another angle, in Luke 2:41-52, Jesus is apart from His family for about three days before His family finds Him teaching at the Temple when He is only 12 years old. There must have been a warm community looking after him those three days!
There is a level of common sense to this finding. People naturally want to be where they feel welcome and where they are invited into a warm, relational environment. That said, we must be intentional about putting it into practice.
Start by asking yourself a few questions:
Where do I experience a warm community?
How could I be a part of fueling a warm community at Calvary for kids and adults alike?
I admit that I am still a bit fuzzy on exactly what a hygge is, but I do know that I want kids and adults to experience a warm environment at Calvary. I am so grateful for the ways I continue to see God work in and through His people to make this a reality every week. Thanks for being a part of it!
Churches that are effectively reaching 15-29 year-olds are characterized by three core commitments. Number one: Empowering them to lead. Number two: Empathizing with them. Neither of these are particularly flashy, but when we get to number three, and you might read the title and be done. You might think, “Of course. That’s common sense. If we are going to take anything seriously, it is going to be the message of Jesus.” Unfortunately, many kids and teenagers (and dare I say adults) are living by a version of the Gospel that is missing Jesus.
What do I mean by that? The National Study of Youth and Religion found that the dominant belief system of teenagers today can be described as Moralistic Therapeutic Deism (MTD). In a nutshell, MTD is an understanding of faith in which God is a “heavenly butler” and the main objective is to be a good person. God exists to help you feel better but is not regularly involved in our lives. In Growing Young, the authors write, “...this half-hearted religious worldview leaves teenagers and emerging adults adrift in a ho-hum sea of bland religious niceness.” Another prominent form of the Gospel that teenagers are subscribing to is what Fuller Youth Institute calls “The Golden Rule Gospel,” which promotes “lukewarm passion” and Christians who focus on good deeds. Jesus is in the background, at best.
What are growing young communities teaching instead?
In churches that are “growing young” and reaching kids and teenagers, there is a more robust Gospel, one that is centered around Jesus and His message. In the study, vibrancy and faith maturity were linked with “understanding that faith is about more than behaviors or following rules.” In other words, churches that are reaching young people are focusing on the message of Jesus, understanding that the life of Jesus is part of a larger story of redemption, and talking less about heaven and more about how Jesus transforms our lives in the present.
At Calvary, we seek to pursue Jesus and invite kids to participate in the mission of the Kingdom of God in all that we do. In fact, one of our core values is that we believe every person needs to know they can trust Jesus no matter what.
What are some ways that we as parents, church family and ministry leaders can continue to help kids live into this more robust Gospel that takes Jesus’ message seriously?
Kids hear “no.” A lot. Young people wonder if Christianity is simply another pile of “nos.” No, don’t drink. Don’t have sex. Don’t swear. This is not the robust Gospel. Powell writes, “The nos provide a boundary, but they don’t provide a helpful way toward a new vision for living.” Give kids the yesses that come with faith. Show them that it is so much more than a list of “nos.” It is an invitation to significance, mission, purpose and a life of adventure.
According to Sticky Faith research, seven out of 10 kids in high school will have significant doubts about God and faith, but less than half of these kids will talk to ministry leaders or peers about them. Don’t assume that doubt means a kid is “losing” his or her faith. As parents and adults walking with kids, we must leave room for kids to express doubt. It is a sign of faith maturity.
When we teach what to believe, we are articulating a faith based on behaviors. When we teach kids how to believe, we are modeling faith that is based on “right belief” instead of “right behavior.” Faith is a journey and a process of following Jesus in community, discovering more of who He is day by day. Kids need stories of God’s faithfulness in the lives of others, rituals that ground them in who God is and who He says they are, and people who share the Gospel without judgment.
In John 10:10, Jesus tells us that He came so that we might have life and have it to the fullest. What an exciting responsibility to share about that abundant life with the next generation! It is a privilege to partner with you in leading kids into a growing relationship with Jesus Christ.
We continue our blog discussion around Growing Young by Kara Powell, Jake Mulder and Brad Griffin. Megan did a great job introducing the book and the purpose of the research in the April blog post. I intentionally call this a “discussion” because we hope these blogs launch discussion all around Calvary about how we are going to engage this generation with the Gospel of Jesus Christ.
If you are over 30 years of age, let’s pause for a minute and think about this question: “How would you describe today’s 15-30 year-olds?” My guess is that most of the descriptions you come up with were not positive. Maybe words like “entitled,” “lazy” and “self-centered” come to mind first. Now, I want you to stop and think about this. What if you only heard negative things about your generation? How would you respond? How would you feel about yourself and your peers? This is the reality facing today’s emerging adults (15-30 year-olds). The majority of the press they receive is negative, or at best, they hear speeches that begin with, “When I was your age…”
Yes, things are different than they used to be. The research in Growing Young says, “The world young people have been handed is more complex, competitive and diverse. The conventional array of paths available to you people has been exponentially multiplied.” This reality has resulted in a culture where the age “25 is the new 15, and 15 is the new 25”. People are getting married later, having kids later, becoming financially independent later, etc. However, this does not mean that emerging adults automatically fit the stereotypes or boxes they are often put in by generations above them.
What if instead of sitting back and judging, patronizing or degrading emerging adults for not meeting our expectations, we begin to journey with them in faith? The church has an incredible opportunity to speak new life and fresh messages into the lives of today’s emerging adults when we learn to empathize with them. In Growing Young, Pastor Eugene Cho says, “Empathy is the willingness to go to hard places with people. Even if people in my church disagree with me, I hope they know I care about them.” What if we walked with them through life’s ups and downs in order to feel what they feel and experience what they experience?
Most emerging adults are asking three key questions. How we choose to respond to these questions will determine our ability to engage this generation, and ultimately, connect them with the truth of the Gospel.
Emerging adults want to know who they are. What’s my identity? Am I more than the number of likes I get on Facebook or the number of retweets I get on Twitter? If we choose to empathize with today’s young people, we have a chance to tell them about God’s GRACE. We have the opportunity to tell them the truth about who God has created them to be and to speak into the deepest questions they have about who they are because of whose they are.
Many of us who are over 30 remember the hit TV shows Cheers. The theme song of that show was “Where everybody knows your name.” Today’s young people want to know where they belong, where they fit, and want a place where they are known by name. While social media offers this generation an outlet to express themselves, it can also be one of the loneliest place to spend time, as kids watch their friends leave them out in real time, for everyone to see. They are seeking LOVE. They want to know if they are loved for who they are, not by what they have done or might do in the future. When we engage in their lives and journey with them in faith, we have the chance to show them unconditional love and belonging only found in Jesus.
Emerging adults are looking for purpose. There is a sense that their focus is beginning to shift to the world around them and they want to make an impact. They want a MISSION. They want something worth giving their lives to. They want to know that what they are doing matters. We, as the church, have the opportunity to invite them into God’s mission—a mission that calls us to share God’s love with all people, providing them a place to belong, and assurance they are never alone. However, if we want them to believe it is real, we have to first be willing to live out God’s mission as a community and individuals.
The emerging generation is asking powerful questions—questions that God through Jesus has some compelling answers to. If we want to engage emerging adults, we must ask ourselves some hard questions as well. Are we willing to feel their hurt, their struggle and their pain so they can see that Jesus and His mission are real? Are we willing to actively participate in the mission that God has called us to? Will we empathize with our emerging adults so that they can begin to see the Gospel as the answer to life’s toughest questions?